Blue Bug and the Art of Letting Go

Today, I’m selling my old car. It was the last car with my late husband’s name on it. We called it Blue Bug. I’m crying, of course—because Blue Bug was my home when we were homeless, a home that carried us through a major trauma in our life’s journey. I’m crying because, despite everything I did to save it, some things just can’t be fixed. Life feels sad sometimes. I think it’s the letting go. It’s also the remembering—being held in our beloved’s embrace and not realizing then that it’s just a body made up of arms and legs and one big, enlarged heart. It’s letting go after all our efforts fail, when we are forced to look within, and beyond, not without. That’s why life is a journey. Each letting go carries us to

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Almost Full Moon

The almost full moon shines down on early night treesCasting a reflection, like a mirror from top to bottom.My walk halts as I reach for understanding.Or is it a photograph? Try as I might to wait—I walk on to know more. There’s no me now separate from the walk.It’s a large pond. I’m hearing the wind move and whistle like a gift unwrapping.On any other day, I’d miss this night—The quiet beauty of it all.But now, after what happened at dawn, I see. I remember an old poem I wrote called, On the eve of my greatness.I must have been young then.I thought somehow there was an eve of some greatness to be discovered—When every morning and every evening I’m on the brink.That was a beautiful poem.It still has an aftertaste like sherry. I walk

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The Art of Not Fitting In (Without Losing Yourself)

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we don’t feel good and can’t quite explain why. Highly sensitive people, like myself, absorb the energy around them and can sense the invisible spirit of discord almost instantly. When we’re caught off guard—or not in tune with our own self-worth—we may mistake negative energy, or subtle acts of exclusion, for something wrong within us. We start second-guessing our character and identity, wondering what we did wrong to not feel welcomed or recognized. The feeling of belonging happens when you are surrounded by people who recognize and value your beauty. Feeling a sense of belonging is essential to your well-being. We move closer to our best selves when we align our energy with others who appreciate who we are and what we have to offer. For individuals who

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Mindfulness and Love as Attention Therapy

Teaching Students with ADHD “Each of us can learn the art of nourishing happiness and love. Everything needs food to live, even love. If we don’t know how to nourish our love, it withers. When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh I teach Spanish to middle school students, many of whom have been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). Working with these students often involves teaching them how to sustain attention long enough to cultivate a sense of calm understanding. It’s also about developing emotional awareness and self-regulation so they aren’t easily distracted or pulled away from meaningful experiences. Some students take medication to help manage their symptoms. While I have

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Minty Breath in a Musty Room: On Courage

Parker Palmer wrote The Courage to Teach, a book I cherished. Lately I find myself asking: What does courage mean? And, how can we cultivate a courageous spirit joined with steady, valiant action? Some days, courage feels like releasing a minty breath bubble into a musty room and watching what unfolds. Other days, it edges closer to recklessness—speaking an honest word, slowing down while others are racing ahead, or stepping beyond the familiar. Such moments feel reckless only because we can’t know what will follow, and safety has become an existential commodity. At times, courage feels like drifting through the zeitgeist, brushing against a sharp chemical odor—like mineral spirits—leaving a faint trace of my mind as I slip past. There are many ways to glimpse courage, but true courage must be traced back to its

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How to Stay Joyful Without Feeling Guilty

I wake up in the morning and express gratitude. I feel at peace. My intention for the day is happiness and peace. I say: May I be at peace. May I be happy. Then I think of someone I love and send them an offering of peace and happiness. I usually start with my son and daughter, because their joy fills me with even deeper gratitude. As I practice this, I feel my energy circle grow larger. Sometimes, during this practice, I end by imagining more freedom and abundance in my life. I let myself feel love and well-being flowing effortlessly. Sometimes I picture a bird soaring, and in that moment, I am the bird—already free. When I rise from my cushion, I get dressed and step into the world. My steps are light and

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Acceptance & Aging

So much has happened since I last wrote. Another year has slipped by. I like to think I move like the spirits—outside of time—but the clock still rules the world. In the past year I moved twice, unpacked boxes, started a job, made peace with some things and took a stand on others, climbed mountains, learned to coax fire from a wood stove, painted Dream House, and traveled. I loved and I lost. Like you, I ride this rollercoaster called life, trying to make sense of it all. Through every change, my mornings remain the same. I sit. I breathe deeply. I give thanks. Sometimes I pray. The universe is still my home, I remind myself. The universe is timeless. Lately, I feel as if I’ve stepped into a higher frequency—one where the smallest moments

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Mindfulness and the City

And just like that, I’m back in Madrid launching a business. After a three month retreat in a country cabin in Woodstock, I returned to a city I adore. My departure was ambivalent as I left failed plans and proximity to loved ones. It’s bitter sweet to move to another country in search of work and belonging. New York is my birthplace, but so much has changed. Madrid is loud and sunny. Constant street life, cultural events, good wine and food. It’s quite a change from the quiet calm of the overcast country. No bear and deer outside my window, for example. Now, I’m living in a tall building at the edge of the city. In spite of the hustle and bustle downstairs, I can disappear into the airy lightness of the sky. There are

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On Meditation and Change

Life happens whether we are still or not. We can actively participate in some aspect of the world or stay still. Wisdom comes from both. Sometimes, our life experience is decided for us through illness, trauma or circumstances. Meditation is one way to get acquainted with the wisdom inherent in stillness by choice of our own. The body will resist stillness. Even when we sleep we are restless, but we can train it to settle down. Inside, we will find our breath happens automatically. It’s always there, blowing air through the lungs. Our breathing is completely self-regulating, but we can, if we wish, control the flow. This is interesting, to try to quicken the breath, or hold it and notice the impact on how we feel. The abdomen will rise and fall. We will notice

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Look Around You

“The mind is always seeking zones of safety, and these zones of safety are continuously falling apart. The opposite is when all the walls fall down, the cocoon disappears and we are totally open to whatever happens. That’s what stirs us and inspires us: leaping, being thrown out of the nest, going through the initiation, growing up, stepping into something that’s uncertain and unknown.” Pema Chödrön, The Wisdom of No Escape I’ve been living in a cabin in Woodstock, New York this summer. Here in the forest, it’s been raining nonstop with frequent thunderstorms. There are swarms of gnats, mosquitos, ticks and bees. We have one black bear who forages our garbage at night. Also, two deer and their fawns, one rabbit and a hare. Some days, the humidity exasperates me. I sit on the

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What Mindfulness is Not

Contrary to the fundamental belief that the root of all suffering is fear of death, I think many individuals fear poverty or the loss of love more. In other words, it is possible to fear living, that is– living with the constant threat of helplessness, of not having the means to care for oneself with dignity, or living without love and belonging. Poverty, desperation or loneliness can trigger the desire for death sometimes. Death feels like a liberation, in this sense. I understand this longing for liberation. To be dead and free of all the earthly demands sounds good if the experience on earth is riddled with pain, hunger, fear, lovelessness and suffering. I can sit in meditation and calm thoughts, like thoughts of fear. But, does my practice solve the problem of me getting

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Finding The Way

Today in meditation, I am a shepherd. I open my eyes and remember my name. Raquel signifies ewe, meaning a female sheep. I think I am both: a shepherd and a sheep. What does this mean? In mindfulness meditation, we often get images and thoughts that we can contemplate and apply to a life situation. In this case, I sense I am being tasked to protect and guide a flock to safety. Knowing the value of sheep, this job requires that I am healthy, alert and caring. Sheep are innocent and vulnerable, soft and fluffy. They give warmth and their milk is nourishing. I like to think there is wisdom in grazing a pasture. All of the references of shepherd and sheep come to me in the moments following my meditation and I’m sifting through

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You are my teacher, you are my student

All life and learning is an energy of giving and receiving. We encounter others on our path to exchange this life force. In an instant, we recognize ourselves in the other; a giving reflection of a world we need to see. This is our world that we see, a creation of our thoughts and our state of being. Let’s consider and reflect on this, for a moment. A mindful life becomes our technique. It is a tool and a strategy to size up the present moment without judgement or cloudiness. Simply, seeing. What is it that I am, through you? What is the world, we see? What is it that we are creating together, in this moment? How am I feeling? What sensation, arises as I consider this creation, that is both you and me,

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Raquel Ríos
“An upright, graceful posture brings the light energy we need.”
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